Our Three Faces

It is interesting to me that we put so much energy into how we present ourselves in public. Whether we are in business looking to sell our services or products, single and looking for a romantic partner, or simply going out on a Friday evening, we tend to spend a great deal of energy doing whatever it takes to look our best. Society and the media places so much emphasis on this mainly because there is a multi-billion dollar industry based on exactly this.

I believe that we all have three faces which we tend to take with us when we go out into the public.

The first is the face that we want people to perceive us as. We go to unbelievable lengths to dress just right, wear the right make-up and colognes, deliver the perfect introductory “elevator speech” to promote ourselves, have perfect hair, present the right body shape, run with the right crowd, know the current fads…., I could go on forever. You know what I am saying…. How crazy-making is that? How pervasive is that? It is everywhere we turn. It is driven to a great extent by the second face – the face that is afraid of how people are actually seeing us!

This second face is the one that we take with us that is somewhat in the shadows. It is what causes us to suddenly feel we are over or under dressed for the situation we find ourselves in. It is the part of us that is terrified that the person in front of us doesn’t like us or is judging us in some way. It is the part of us that beats ourselves up for not saying the right thing or saying too much. It is the voice in the back of our head that says “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve to be liked”. It is driven by our poor self-esteem.

These first two faces take incredible energy to maintain.

The third face is who we really are – our authentic selves. This is the person we are without any effort. This is the face we have when we are in a place of self-acceptance or simple being. It is the person we are when we have been able to still the “monkey mind” that chatters in the back of our minds and drives us to distraction in our everyday lives. It is who we are when we are focusing on a task and are totally absorbed in where our attention is. It is where we are when we are enjoying ourselves and happy and at peace. It is who we are when we are consciously present in the current moment – in the Now as Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now describes.

The third state of being is not energy draining but is actually energizing and means the difference between struggle and hardship and ease and effortless success. Aren’t we all looking for this way of living and being in our lives?

People can sense BS a mile away. When we are putting so much effort into being someone other than our authentic self, we are presenting a fallacy to people we meet. When we are trying to sell ourselves or our products and services and focusing on presenting exactly what we think will convince the prospective customer to buy or like us, we aren’t being genuine. People will buy from people they know, like and trust. When we are not being authentic, we may still make sales but true success doesn’t come from struggle, nor does it have to be hard.

Namasté